This was the first day that Cailin was alone since her trip to Donegal. The ride back to Mullaghmore was quiet and gave her lots of time to think. She questioned all her recent decisions about Darren, about the possibility of moving to Ireland, even for a 3 month test.
What if her boss would not go for this? Should she quit her job? Did she have enough in her savings to support herself? And if she had to return back to New York would she have killed possible chances for advancement in a new job? Would her boss hire her back? While she played with these thoughts over and over during her drive, she convinced herself that all would go well.
It wasn't too long a ride when Cailin arrived back in Mullaghmore. She headed back to Conner's Pub and B&B to see if she could stay there again for a night before she headed back to Dublin. As she entered the pub, Brendan looked up from the bar and smiled at her.
“I was wondering when you might be back lassie.”
“It's been a wonderful trip, Brendan, and so much has happened.” Cailin didn't want to say too much, but wanted to make sure Brendan knew she having a great time.
“So where all have you been?” Brendan was curious as to where Cailin had been.
“I'll tell you about that later, Brendan. Do you have a room for me tonight?”
“Surely, I do, Cailin. I take it you'll be looking for Rorey, aye?” Brendan was way ahead of Cailin. “He's down at the cafe having his daily cup.”
“Thanks so much Brendan. I'll bring my bags in when I get back. See you soon.” Cailin rushed out the door and headed for the cafe down the street.
As she passed the front window Cailin saw Rorey sitting in the same seat at the window as he had when she first met him. He saw her as she passed and rose from his seat as she entered the door.
“Cailin, it's good to see you made it back here. So did you see everything we planned?” Rorey was curious to see if the trip they had planned worked out.
“Rorey, it's good to see you too. Funny how sometimes circumstances change the best of plans.” Cailin was anxious to share all her adventures and information about Darren with Rorey. She felt comfortable enough with Rorey that she could share all this and see what he thought.
After a couple of cups of tea and a long chat mostly with Cailin talking about everything that happened, Rorey started to smile.
“What?” Cailin wasn't sure what she had said to make Rorey smile so.
“Cailin, you definitely belong here. I could see it from the beginning. It's good that you are thinking this out and moving with caution. Are you sure you want to live in Derry?” Rorey was being protective.
“Rorey, I need to be in a larger city with reliable network access and research sources. That's either Belfast or Derry up here. Otherwise it's Dublin and I'd rather not be in Dublin. For now I'd like to see about living in Derry.”
“And be by your boyo?” Rorey laughed.
“Yes, and be near Darren. How will I ever know if there is something special between us?” Cailin really didn't have to justify her decision with Rorey.
They finished off their afternoon with talk about Cailin's visit to Donegal and the Connemara Peninsula and Cong. All the while Rorey smiling at Cailin as she expressed her feelings about his country and Darren. As they finished Rorey walked Cailin to back to Conner's so she could get settled in her room. They planned to have dinner together, and an early night for Cailin as she headed for Dublin for one last night before she caught her flight home.
When Cailin arrived at her room after dinner, she grabbed her cell phone to call Darren. Their conversation was short as there was not too much more to say except how they both missed each other already and a promise for another call the next day.
Wednesday, February 17, 2010
Thursday, February 11, 2010
Travels in Eire #30
Darren and Cailin arrived back in Derry early enough to have a last dinner together, at least last for a while, and get Cailin settled back the in the same B&B as she had stayed in before. It was getting late and they were struggling with their good-byes.
“Darren, I'll just be a phone call away, and can keep in touch easily for the next few days, and I promise I'll call before I get on the plane for New York.” Cailin tried to make sure Darren knew she was serious.
“Cailin, I know and understand all that but it doesn't make it easier. I really care for you but I won't come running to New York to bring you back. I just can't do that to my parents and won't do that to myself. Ireland is my home and my heart. I hope someday you will feel that way too.” Darren felt like he was baring his soul here.
Cailin moved close to Darren and reached her arms around his waist in a firm hug putting her head on his chest. He wrapped her in the grasp of his arms and they stood there is silence for what seemed like a lifetime.
Cailin looked up to Darren, “I promise I will be back. I can't imagine not returning. Ireland has a hold on me that I just can't explain.”
And with that Cailin and Darren said goodbye with a long lingering kiss.
It was a restless night for Cailin. Images of the last two weeks running through her head. All the discoveries in Mullaghmore and Ardmore, meeting Darren, and then everything that had happened between herself and Darren. She knew she needed time to decompress and digest all this. But without question, she did know she wanted to come back to Ireland, to work here and spend more time with Darren. This was not a decision she made lightly, but still she had concerns about it. Was she being foolish? Was this all a flight of fancy?
Before Cailin realized it, morning had arrived. She needed to get breakfast and head out for Mullaghmore and find Rorey. As she checked out and pulled her backpack over her shoulder and headed out the door she noticed Darren leaning on he hood of the car. He was smiling at her and she couldn't help grinning back.
“What???” Cailin shouted as she approached Darren.
“I couldn't let you leave without a last goodbye,” and Darren pulled Cailin close to him for a great morning hug.
“I'm going to miss this, you know?” Cailin looked up to Darren.
After one last kiss, Cailin climbed into the car, winked at Darren and pulled out into traffic. She wouldn't look back at Darren as she knew, she would stop the car and never get going.
“Darren, I'll just be a phone call away, and can keep in touch easily for the next few days, and I promise I'll call before I get on the plane for New York.” Cailin tried to make sure Darren knew she was serious.
“Cailin, I know and understand all that but it doesn't make it easier. I really care for you but I won't come running to New York to bring you back. I just can't do that to my parents and won't do that to myself. Ireland is my home and my heart. I hope someday you will feel that way too.” Darren felt like he was baring his soul here.
Cailin moved close to Darren and reached her arms around his waist in a firm hug putting her head on his chest. He wrapped her in the grasp of his arms and they stood there is silence for what seemed like a lifetime.
Cailin looked up to Darren, “I promise I will be back. I can't imagine not returning. Ireland has a hold on me that I just can't explain.”
And with that Cailin and Darren said goodbye with a long lingering kiss.
It was a restless night for Cailin. Images of the last two weeks running through her head. All the discoveries in Mullaghmore and Ardmore, meeting Darren, and then everything that had happened between herself and Darren. She knew she needed time to decompress and digest all this. But without question, she did know she wanted to come back to Ireland, to work here and spend more time with Darren. This was not a decision she made lightly, but still she had concerns about it. Was she being foolish? Was this all a flight of fancy?
Before Cailin realized it, morning had arrived. She needed to get breakfast and head out for Mullaghmore and find Rorey. As she checked out and pulled her backpack over her shoulder and headed out the door she noticed Darren leaning on he hood of the car. He was smiling at her and she couldn't help grinning back.
“What???” Cailin shouted as she approached Darren.
“I couldn't let you leave without a last goodbye,” and Darren pulled Cailin close to him for a great morning hug.
“I'm going to miss this, you know?” Cailin looked up to Darren.
After one last kiss, Cailin climbed into the car, winked at Darren and pulled out into traffic. She wouldn't look back at Darren as she knew, she would stop the car and never get going.
Sunday, February 7, 2010
Travels in Eire #29
Cailin had thought long and hard about this. This was not something she took lightly. Darren was a very special man, and these kind of men were few and far between. But she had been hurt before, and she had to admit that she really didn't feel like she knew Darren enough to commit to staying in Ireland. He had gotten out of the car and was leaning on the hood of the car waiting for her. In a way she felt sorry for him and didn't know how he would take this.
“Okay, Cailin, I've waited until we arrived at Drumcliff. Time to talk. We still have about 3 hours on the road to get back to Derry by dinner.” Darren was trying not to sound too impatient, but his patience was wearing thin. He was thinking that he might already know what was coming in Cailin's explanation, but didn't want to say it out loud.
“Darren, I don't want you to be upset or offended by this, so please hear me out completely. This was not an easy decision. First off, I have pretty much used up all of my vacation time over the last couple of days with you. Anywhere else other than a stop in Mullaghmore on the way to Dublin will have to wait. I don't regret any of that time. It's been wonderful, and you are a very special man.” Cailin could sense Darren's uneasiness watching him as he shifted positions.
“ Like I said the other day, I have obligations in New York. It's not like I can just walk away from everything. My family is there too, and I need to have a serious talk with them. When I was getting my passport before this trip I learned something that I sort of glossed over at the time, but now it seems to possibly fit a plan. Did you know that a person with a valid passport can stay in Ireland for three months? It gets a little sticky if you need to work, but three months is a nice amount of time. And there is more. Before I left my grandmother, who was born in Ireland told me I could become an Irish citizen through a rule that allows a person to request citizenship by descent. With that there are no other rules for being employed in Ireland.”
Darren was confused all over again, “So does that mean you are staying, or going?”
“Darren, one thing you never really asked me was what I do for a living. I always wondered if you cared about what I do, since you have told me all about your job.”
“You said PR work, right?” Darren was searching his memory for what Cailin had told him.
“Yes, I work for a PR firm, but I do research for them. Mostly online research and some phone calls. I head a department for their research. There are two of us,” Cailin laughed at her reference of a department made up of two people.
“Online research can be done anywhere. Do you see where I am going?”
“Anywhere, as from Ireland? So what does that mean exactly?” Darren was starting to see where Cailin was going.
“ This might take some working out, but if my firm agrees, I can come back over here and work from here for three months. During that time it would give us a chance to get to know each other better. Don't you agree that we need more time? This would not interrupt you work, or life, and it would give me more time in Ireland, which I now know I need. That is, if you want me to come back?”
Now it was Darren's turn to make some decisions. He hated that Cailin was leaving, but was happy that she would be coming back for three months.
“What if your firm doesn't let you work over here for them?” Darren was still skeptical about all of this. “You'll stay in New York and not return. I do want you to come back, and soon.”
“Darren, I really thing this can work out. But I have to go back and make my case face to face with my boss. And I need to talk to my family in the mean time. Are you willing to give me that time? It could take two to four weeks. I have a flat in the city to move out of. It's not much, but it's mine. I know my parents will support this, I just know they will.”
“I can't say I'm really happy about this, but I do realize that you can't just drop everything and stay here. I like the idea that you'd consider a trial three months, and maybe Irish citizenship to follow. Maybe while you are gone I can work on finding a place for you to stay while you are here. On the outskirts of Derry, I'm hoping.” A smile was starting to return to Darren's face.
“Okay, so we have a temporary plan, right?” Cailin was feeling better about this the more she thought about it.
“What do you mean, temporary? Did I miss something?” Darren was confused once again.
“I mean temporary as in temporarily back in New York, and the temporarily back in Ireland. And temporary as Plan A until we need to adjust for unforeseen problems. And we can stay in touch as much as you want to.”
“Sounds good to me except for the 'adjust' and 'unforeseen' part. But I guess that's not avoidable. I guess there isn't much else I can do except hope for the best. I really don't want you to go at all, you do realize that, don't you?”
“Darren, I'm not sure I really want to go either, but it can't be helped. Little did I know that when I headed over here for vacation, that I'd be considering living here, or that I would have met someone very special, or connected with my ancestors and family here. Are we ready to get back on the road?”
“Cailin, the sooner we get back to Derry, the sooner, we can start getting this plan going. I'm ready.” And Darren swung around the fender of the car heading to open the door for Cailin. Oh, and you left something out....Have you ever been married?”
Cailin smiled up at Darren as she slipped into her seat in the car, “Only to my job at this point!” Any more than that Darren didn't need to know right now. He grabbed Cailin is a huge hug that told how relieved he was now that he knew about this plan.
The remainder of the trip held conversation about what kind of place Cailin would live in, and how she would approach her boss about the move. Little did Cailin know what awaited her when she returned to New York, but first she must return to Mullaghmore and reconnect with Rorey.
“Okay, Cailin, I've waited until we arrived at Drumcliff. Time to talk. We still have about 3 hours on the road to get back to Derry by dinner.” Darren was trying not to sound too impatient, but his patience was wearing thin. He was thinking that he might already know what was coming in Cailin's explanation, but didn't want to say it out loud.
“Darren, I don't want you to be upset or offended by this, so please hear me out completely. This was not an easy decision. First off, I have pretty much used up all of my vacation time over the last couple of days with you. Anywhere else other than a stop in Mullaghmore on the way to Dublin will have to wait. I don't regret any of that time. It's been wonderful, and you are a very special man.” Cailin could sense Darren's uneasiness watching him as he shifted positions.
“ Like I said the other day, I have obligations in New York. It's not like I can just walk away from everything. My family is there too, and I need to have a serious talk with them. When I was getting my passport before this trip I learned something that I sort of glossed over at the time, but now it seems to possibly fit a plan. Did you know that a person with a valid passport can stay in Ireland for three months? It gets a little sticky if you need to work, but three months is a nice amount of time. And there is more. Before I left my grandmother, who was born in Ireland told me I could become an Irish citizen through a rule that allows a person to request citizenship by descent. With that there are no other rules for being employed in Ireland.”
Darren was confused all over again, “So does that mean you are staying, or going?”
“Darren, one thing you never really asked me was what I do for a living. I always wondered if you cared about what I do, since you have told me all about your job.”
“You said PR work, right?” Darren was searching his memory for what Cailin had told him.
“Yes, I work for a PR firm, but I do research for them. Mostly online research and some phone calls. I head a department for their research. There are two of us,” Cailin laughed at her reference of a department made up of two people.
“Online research can be done anywhere. Do you see where I am going?”
“Anywhere, as from Ireland? So what does that mean exactly?” Darren was starting to see where Cailin was going.
“ This might take some working out, but if my firm agrees, I can come back over here and work from here for three months. During that time it would give us a chance to get to know each other better. Don't you agree that we need more time? This would not interrupt you work, or life, and it would give me more time in Ireland, which I now know I need. That is, if you want me to come back?”
Now it was Darren's turn to make some decisions. He hated that Cailin was leaving, but was happy that she would be coming back for three months.
“What if your firm doesn't let you work over here for them?” Darren was still skeptical about all of this. “You'll stay in New York and not return. I do want you to come back, and soon.”
“Darren, I really thing this can work out. But I have to go back and make my case face to face with my boss. And I need to talk to my family in the mean time. Are you willing to give me that time? It could take two to four weeks. I have a flat in the city to move out of. It's not much, but it's mine. I know my parents will support this, I just know they will.”
“I can't say I'm really happy about this, but I do realize that you can't just drop everything and stay here. I like the idea that you'd consider a trial three months, and maybe Irish citizenship to follow. Maybe while you are gone I can work on finding a place for you to stay while you are here. On the outskirts of Derry, I'm hoping.” A smile was starting to return to Darren's face.
“Okay, so we have a temporary plan, right?” Cailin was feeling better about this the more she thought about it.
“What do you mean, temporary? Did I miss something?” Darren was confused once again.
“I mean temporary as in temporarily back in New York, and the temporarily back in Ireland. And temporary as Plan A until we need to adjust for unforeseen problems. And we can stay in touch as much as you want to.”
“Sounds good to me except for the 'adjust' and 'unforeseen' part. But I guess that's not avoidable. I guess there isn't much else I can do except hope for the best. I really don't want you to go at all, you do realize that, don't you?”
“Darren, I'm not sure I really want to go either, but it can't be helped. Little did I know that when I headed over here for vacation, that I'd be considering living here, or that I would have met someone very special, or connected with my ancestors and family here. Are we ready to get back on the road?”
“Cailin, the sooner we get back to Derry, the sooner, we can start getting this plan going. I'm ready.” And Darren swung around the fender of the car heading to open the door for Cailin. Oh, and you left something out....Have you ever been married?”
Cailin smiled up at Darren as she slipped into her seat in the car, “Only to my job at this point!” Any more than that Darren didn't need to know right now. He grabbed Cailin is a huge hug that told how relieved he was now that he knew about this plan.
The remainder of the trip held conversation about what kind of place Cailin would live in, and how she would approach her boss about the move. Little did Cailin know what awaited her when she returned to New York, but first she must return to Mullaghmore and reconnect with Rorey.
Friday, February 5, 2010
Travels in Eire #28
After saying their good-byes to Philip and putting their bags in the car, Cailin and Darren began their trip back to Derry. The trip would take at least 5 hours and possibly more considering travel in Ireland. But Darren was not about to wait very long to have Cailin tell him what was going on with her.
“So Cailin, you said we would talk on the trip back. Want to share?”
“Darren, we're barely on the road past Galway. Can't you wait until we relax and get into the drive for a while?”
Darren was impatient and felt he had been out of the loop for too long already. He had already been waiting since the evening before and was not about to wait any longer. “Cailin, if I have to I'll pull over and that will even put us further behind on getting back to Derry. I don't have a clue as to what happened between you and my mum, and then they way you where when you came back from your walk. What's a guy to think? Are you just walking away from what has happened between us? Have I been a fool here?”
“Darren, you are getting way ahead of yourself. This last day of your weekend should be fun, and I'm not going to spoil it for you. At least I don't plan to. As for your mum and I, I think we came to an appreciation of each other last night. She was very comforting. And no, I didn't tell her anything about what happened between the two of us. I don't think I had to.”
“Last night was more about me realizing that I don't have that much longer in Ireland and still have more to see. I was sad about many things last night. It just all hit me at once and I just couldn't handle it.”
“So you are leaving to go back to America?” Darren had difficulty getting this statement out.
“Of course I have to go back to New York. I have obligations that need to be taken care of there. And before you get your pants all in a knot, just listen to me,” Cailin was trying not to get ahead of herself. “Darren, listen, Sligo is about halfway to Derry. Can we stop there again at Drumcliff and talk about all this then? I'd feel better if we could talk face to face rather than just side by side in the car.”
Darren was a little miffed, “So do we just drive in silence between here and there?”
“No, Darren, what would we be talking about if all this hadn't happened? You do realize that other than some cursory information, we really don't know much about each other. Things like, did you ever play sports in school? Have you ever been outside of Ireland? Would you ever like to visit your brother in the US? Do you see what I mean?”
“So are you saying we should play twenty questions for the next two hours?” Darren was letting his sarcasm show. “And for your information, I played soccer in school, I've been to London for work, and yes, it would be great to visit my brother. Are we done?”
“Let's not be too sarcastic here. Do you even know anything about me? What kind of job do I have? Do I have any siblings? Where did I go to school? Have I ever been married before? Or don't you care?”
Darren was quiet. He was sulking because Cailin was right. They barely knew each other. All he knew was that he had some very strong feelings for her. The rest really didn't seem to matter. At least it hadn't mattered, until she brought all this up. It was true that they knew very little about each others backgrounds. With all these feelings clouding his mind, he didn't think any of this was important. But that marriage question made him realize she really had a point.
“Well....have you ever been married?” Darren stumbled through the question.
“When we stop in Sligo, ask me that again, and I'll answer,” Cailin deflected the question intentionally. She was trying to make a point and finally had Darren's attention. “So let's find something neutral to talk about for the next hour. How about my list of things that I still need to see in Ireland?”
“Fine,” Darren sullenly agreed. “What about sites in the south of the isle? A circular trip from Dublin south would be perfect for you.” His tone was still indignant.
“Sounds great, what's there to see?” Cailin was glad they had changed the subject for a while at least.
For the next hour they talked about places like Powercourt Gardens, Glendalough – St. Kevin's Monastery, Hook Head Lighthouse, Charles Fort, and both the Ring of Kerry and Dingle Peninsula with Darren talking about specific sites along the way. He made sure to note that about an hour south of Galway was the Burren and the Cliffs of Moher. Cailin was trying to keep track of all the places Darren mentioned and listened carefully as he added some history about the sites as he described them. The more he talked, the more his voice softened. It wasn't long before Darren had pulled off the main road and into the entrance of the Drumcliff Cemetery to park.
“So Cailin, you said we would talk on the trip back. Want to share?”
“Darren, we're barely on the road past Galway. Can't you wait until we relax and get into the drive for a while?”
Darren was impatient and felt he had been out of the loop for too long already. He had already been waiting since the evening before and was not about to wait any longer. “Cailin, if I have to I'll pull over and that will even put us further behind on getting back to Derry. I don't have a clue as to what happened between you and my mum, and then they way you where when you came back from your walk. What's a guy to think? Are you just walking away from what has happened between us? Have I been a fool here?”
“Darren, you are getting way ahead of yourself. This last day of your weekend should be fun, and I'm not going to spoil it for you. At least I don't plan to. As for your mum and I, I think we came to an appreciation of each other last night. She was very comforting. And no, I didn't tell her anything about what happened between the two of us. I don't think I had to.”
“Last night was more about me realizing that I don't have that much longer in Ireland and still have more to see. I was sad about many things last night. It just all hit me at once and I just couldn't handle it.”
“So you are leaving to go back to America?” Darren had difficulty getting this statement out.
“Of course I have to go back to New York. I have obligations that need to be taken care of there. And before you get your pants all in a knot, just listen to me,” Cailin was trying not to get ahead of herself. “Darren, listen, Sligo is about halfway to Derry. Can we stop there again at Drumcliff and talk about all this then? I'd feel better if we could talk face to face rather than just side by side in the car.”
Darren was a little miffed, “So do we just drive in silence between here and there?”
“No, Darren, what would we be talking about if all this hadn't happened? You do realize that other than some cursory information, we really don't know much about each other. Things like, did you ever play sports in school? Have you ever been outside of Ireland? Would you ever like to visit your brother in the US? Do you see what I mean?”
“So are you saying we should play twenty questions for the next two hours?” Darren was letting his sarcasm show. “And for your information, I played soccer in school, I've been to London for work, and yes, it would be great to visit my brother. Are we done?”
“Let's not be too sarcastic here. Do you even know anything about me? What kind of job do I have? Do I have any siblings? Where did I go to school? Have I ever been married before? Or don't you care?”
Darren was quiet. He was sulking because Cailin was right. They barely knew each other. All he knew was that he had some very strong feelings for her. The rest really didn't seem to matter. At least it hadn't mattered, until she brought all this up. It was true that they knew very little about each others backgrounds. With all these feelings clouding his mind, he didn't think any of this was important. But that marriage question made him realize she really had a point.
“Well....have you ever been married?” Darren stumbled through the question.
“When we stop in Sligo, ask me that again, and I'll answer,” Cailin deflected the question intentionally. She was trying to make a point and finally had Darren's attention. “So let's find something neutral to talk about for the next hour. How about my list of things that I still need to see in Ireland?”
“Fine,” Darren sullenly agreed. “What about sites in the south of the isle? A circular trip from Dublin south would be perfect for you.” His tone was still indignant.
“Sounds great, what's there to see?” Cailin was glad they had changed the subject for a while at least.
For the next hour they talked about places like Powercourt Gardens, Glendalough – St. Kevin's Monastery, Hook Head Lighthouse, Charles Fort, and both the Ring of Kerry and Dingle Peninsula with Darren talking about specific sites along the way. He made sure to note that about an hour south of Galway was the Burren and the Cliffs of Moher. Cailin was trying to keep track of all the places Darren mentioned and listened carefully as he added some history about the sites as he described them. The more he talked, the more his voice softened. It wasn't long before Darren had pulled off the main road and into the entrance of the Drumcliff Cemetery to park.
Thursday, February 4, 2010
Travels in Eire #27
After saying their good-byes to Philip and putting their bags in the car, Cailin and Darren began their trip back to Derry. The trip would take at least five hours and possibly more considering travel in Ireland. But Darren was not about to wait very long to have Cailin tell him what was going on with her.
“So Cailin, you said we would talk on the trip back. Want to share?”
“Darren, we're barely on the road past Galway. Can't you wait until we relax and get into the drive for a while?”
Darren was impatient and felt he had been out of the loop for too long already. He had already been waiting since the evening before and was not about to wait any longer. “Cailin, if I have to I'll pull over and that will even put us further behind on getting back to Derry. I don't have a clue as to what happened between you and my mum, and then they way you where when you came back from your walk. What's a guy to think? Are you just walking away from what has happened between us? Have I been a fool here?”
“Darren, you are getting way ahead of yourself. This last day of your weekend should be fun, and I'm not going to spoil it for you. At least I don't plan to. As for your mum and I, I think we came to an appreciation of each other last night. She was very comforting. And no, I didn't tell her anything about what happened between the two of us. I don't think I had to.”
“Last night was more about me realizing that I don't have that much longer in Ireland and still have more to see. I was sad about many things last night. It just all hit me at once and I just couldn't handle it.”
“So you are leaving to go back to America?” Darren had difficulty getting this statement out.
“Of course I have to go back to New York. I have obligations that need to be taken care of there. And before you get your pants all in a knot, just listen to me,” Cailin was trying not to get ahead of herself. “Darren, Sligo is about halfway to Derry. Can we stop there again at Drumcliff and talk about all this then? I'd feel better if we could talk face to face rather than just side by side in the car.”
Darren was a little miffed, “So do we just drive in silence between here and there?”
“No, Darren, what would we be talking about if all this hadn't happened? You do realize that other than some cursory information, we really don't know much about each other. Things like, did you ever play sports in school? Have you ever been outside of Ireland? Would you ever like to visit your brother in the US? Do you see what I mean?”
“So are you saying we should play twenty questions for the next two hours?” Darren was letting his sarcasm show. “And for your information, I played soccer in school, I've been to London for work, and yes, it would be great to visit my brother. Are we done?”
“Let's not be too sarcastic here. Do you even know anything about me? What kind of job do I have? Do I have any siblings? Where did I go to school? Have I ever been married before? Or don't you care?”
Darren was quiet. He was sulking because Cailin was right. They barely knew each other. All he knew was that he had some very strong feelings for her. The rest really didn't seem to matter. At least it hadn't mattered, until she brought all this up. It was true that they knew very little about each others backgrounds. With all these feelings clouding his mind, he didn't think any of this was important. But that marriage question made him realize she really had a point.
“Well....have you ever been married?” Darren stumbled through the question.
“When we stop in Sligo, ask me that again, and I'll answer,” Cailin deflected the question intentionally. She was trying to make a point and finally had Darren's attention. “So let's find something neutral to talk about for the next hour. How about my list of things that I still need to see in Ireland?”
“Fine,” Darren sullenly agreed. “What about sites in the south of the isle? A circular trip from Dublin south would be perfect for you. Further away from Derry, the better.”
“Daren, that will get you no where. Tell me about the south of Ireland. What's there to see?” Cailin was glad they had changed the subject for a while at least.
For the next hour they talked about places like Powercourt Gardens, Glendalough – St. Kevin's Monastery, Hook Head Lighthouse, Charles Fort, and both the Ring of Kerry and Dingle Peninsula with Darren talking about specific sites along the way. He made sure to note that about an hour south of Galway was the Burren and the Cliffs of Moher. Cailin was trying to keep track of all the places Darren mentioned and listened carefully as he added some history about the sites as he described them. It wasn't long before Darren had pulled off the main road and into the entrance of the Drumcliff Cemetery to park.
“So Cailin, you said we would talk on the trip back. Want to share?”
“Darren, we're barely on the road past Galway. Can't you wait until we relax and get into the drive for a while?”
Darren was impatient and felt he had been out of the loop for too long already. He had already been waiting since the evening before and was not about to wait any longer. “Cailin, if I have to I'll pull over and that will even put us further behind on getting back to Derry. I don't have a clue as to what happened between you and my mum, and then they way you where when you came back from your walk. What's a guy to think? Are you just walking away from what has happened between us? Have I been a fool here?”
“Darren, you are getting way ahead of yourself. This last day of your weekend should be fun, and I'm not going to spoil it for you. At least I don't plan to. As for your mum and I, I think we came to an appreciation of each other last night. She was very comforting. And no, I didn't tell her anything about what happened between the two of us. I don't think I had to.”
“Last night was more about me realizing that I don't have that much longer in Ireland and still have more to see. I was sad about many things last night. It just all hit me at once and I just couldn't handle it.”
“So you are leaving to go back to America?” Darren had difficulty getting this statement out.
“Of course I have to go back to New York. I have obligations that need to be taken care of there. And before you get your pants all in a knot, just listen to me,” Cailin was trying not to get ahead of herself. “Darren, Sligo is about halfway to Derry. Can we stop there again at Drumcliff and talk about all this then? I'd feel better if we could talk face to face rather than just side by side in the car.”
Darren was a little miffed, “So do we just drive in silence between here and there?”
“No, Darren, what would we be talking about if all this hadn't happened? You do realize that other than some cursory information, we really don't know much about each other. Things like, did you ever play sports in school? Have you ever been outside of Ireland? Would you ever like to visit your brother in the US? Do you see what I mean?”
“So are you saying we should play twenty questions for the next two hours?” Darren was letting his sarcasm show. “And for your information, I played soccer in school, I've been to London for work, and yes, it would be great to visit my brother. Are we done?”
“Let's not be too sarcastic here. Do you even know anything about me? What kind of job do I have? Do I have any siblings? Where did I go to school? Have I ever been married before? Or don't you care?”
Darren was quiet. He was sulking because Cailin was right. They barely knew each other. All he knew was that he had some very strong feelings for her. The rest really didn't seem to matter. At least it hadn't mattered, until she brought all this up. It was true that they knew very little about each others backgrounds. With all these feelings clouding his mind, he didn't think any of this was important. But that marriage question made him realize she really had a point.
“Well....have you ever been married?” Darren stumbled through the question.
“When we stop in Sligo, ask me that again, and I'll answer,” Cailin deflected the question intentionally. She was trying to make a point and finally had Darren's attention. “So let's find something neutral to talk about for the next hour. How about my list of things that I still need to see in Ireland?”
“Fine,” Darren sullenly agreed. “What about sites in the south of the isle? A circular trip from Dublin south would be perfect for you. Further away from Derry, the better.”
“Daren, that will get you no where. Tell me about the south of Ireland. What's there to see?” Cailin was glad they had changed the subject for a while at least.
For the next hour they talked about places like Powercourt Gardens, Glendalough – St. Kevin's Monastery, Hook Head Lighthouse, Charles Fort, and both the Ring of Kerry and Dingle Peninsula with Darren talking about specific sites along the way. He made sure to note that about an hour south of Galway was the Burren and the Cliffs of Moher. Cailin was trying to keep track of all the places Darren mentioned and listened carefully as he added some history about the sites as he described them. It wasn't long before Darren had pulled off the main road and into the entrance of the Drumcliff Cemetery to park.
Wednesday, February 3, 2010
Travels in Eire #26
Cailin sat with Maura for a while. Maura made her feel so at home even though she had reservations about how Maura felt about her. Something had changed in the relationship between these two women. Maura now looked at Cailin as a young woman trying to find her place in this life and connect to her ancestry, and not someone looking to take her son away. She understood Cailin's feelings about Ireland. She had seen this happen to a few friends who were so connected to this land that they could not leave during the famine. Her own parents had the opportunity to leave, but didn't. They could not fathom the idea of leaving their homeland. Cailin's heritage ran deep in Ireland. Looking at her, you would never know she was American until she spoke. The Irish blood in her ran deep into her soul.
All this time neither Maura or Cailin thought about anything outside of the room where they sat. Little did they know that Darren paced the hallway outside Cailin's room. He was worried about what was going on. What would they be talking about for so long? Was he to suffer the wrath of this mother for falling for this American?
He jumped as the door opened and Maura came out.
“She's fine Darren,” his mum said. “She just needs some time to sort things out.” And Maura headed down the hall back to the kitchen leaving Darren stunned and confused.
This didn't help Darren at all. He wanted to rush in and question Cailin. What did she say to his mum? What did his mum say to Cailin? All the while he was thinking and worrying what had happened he hardly noticed Cailin open the door with her jacket and scarf wrapped around her neck for warmth.
“I need to go out and get some fresh air,” Cailin stated as she passed by Darren. “I'm fine and I'll be better after a short walk.”
“Wait, Cailin, I'll go with you,” Darren rush to grab his jacket from the hall closet.
“It's okay Darren, I need to clear my head. I need to do this alone. I won't be long, and I'm not going far,” Cailin was being firm about this so Darren didn't push.
Darren sulked back and sat at the bottom of the stairs across from Cailin's door. The two women he cared for the most had just shut him out. How was he going to find out anything? Deep inside he felt a rumbling and he realized that through all of this he had not eaten. It was his stomach growling!
As he headed off to the kitchen he was thinking of ways to get his mum to talk, but she was not to be budged. She just cheerfully finished getting the rest of the dinner on the table for Darren, his Da, and grandfather.
It seemed like ages before Darren heard the front door open. He jumped up from the table with protestations from his mum and ran down the hall. Cailin was barely through the door and Darren could see her cheeks pink from the cool evening. But the redness had left her eyes and she seemed at peace with herself. Darren wanted to talk but Cailin put her finger to his lips and said, “There will be plenty of time to talk tomorrow on the drive back to Derry.”
Was that a wink he saw? Whatever was going on here? Darren hated this but knew that no pleading would get him any information. After taking off her coat and scarf Cailin joined the family for tea and cookies in the kitchen. As Cailin had come into the kitchen she looked at Maura and gave her a quick smile and thank you.
“Boy, you will never get then to tell you anything until they are ready,” Philip turned to Darren and smiled. “After all these years I've learned that patience is the best thing.”
The remainder of the evening was filled with watching a favorite RTE Irish comedy show. Everyone was laughing by the end. This time when Darren walked Cailin to the door of her room it was Cailin making the first move, and it threw Darren for a loop. She turned to face Darren, threw her arms around his neck and pulled him into a full on kiss.
“Thanks for being so patient,” was all she said and she turned and walked into her room leaving Darren stunned yet once again tonight.
All this time neither Maura or Cailin thought about anything outside of the room where they sat. Little did they know that Darren paced the hallway outside Cailin's room. He was worried about what was going on. What would they be talking about for so long? Was he to suffer the wrath of this mother for falling for this American?
He jumped as the door opened and Maura came out.
“She's fine Darren,” his mum said. “She just needs some time to sort things out.” And Maura headed down the hall back to the kitchen leaving Darren stunned and confused.
This didn't help Darren at all. He wanted to rush in and question Cailin. What did she say to his mum? What did his mum say to Cailin? All the while he was thinking and worrying what had happened he hardly noticed Cailin open the door with her jacket and scarf wrapped around her neck for warmth.
“I need to go out and get some fresh air,” Cailin stated as she passed by Darren. “I'm fine and I'll be better after a short walk.”
“Wait, Cailin, I'll go with you,” Darren rush to grab his jacket from the hall closet.
“It's okay Darren, I need to clear my head. I need to do this alone. I won't be long, and I'm not going far,” Cailin was being firm about this so Darren didn't push.
Darren sulked back and sat at the bottom of the stairs across from Cailin's door. The two women he cared for the most had just shut him out. How was he going to find out anything? Deep inside he felt a rumbling and he realized that through all of this he had not eaten. It was his stomach growling!
As he headed off to the kitchen he was thinking of ways to get his mum to talk, but she was not to be budged. She just cheerfully finished getting the rest of the dinner on the table for Darren, his Da, and grandfather.
It seemed like ages before Darren heard the front door open. He jumped up from the table with protestations from his mum and ran down the hall. Cailin was barely through the door and Darren could see her cheeks pink from the cool evening. But the redness had left her eyes and she seemed at peace with herself. Darren wanted to talk but Cailin put her finger to his lips and said, “There will be plenty of time to talk tomorrow on the drive back to Derry.”
Was that a wink he saw? Whatever was going on here? Darren hated this but knew that no pleading would get him any information. After taking off her coat and scarf Cailin joined the family for tea and cookies in the kitchen. As Cailin had come into the kitchen she looked at Maura and gave her a quick smile and thank you.
“Boy, you will never get then to tell you anything until they are ready,” Philip turned to Darren and smiled. “After all these years I've learned that patience is the best thing.”
The remainder of the evening was filled with watching a favorite RTE Irish comedy show. Everyone was laughing by the end. This time when Darren walked Cailin to the door of her room it was Cailin making the first move, and it threw Darren for a loop. She turned to face Darren, threw her arms around his neck and pulled him into a full on kiss.
“Thanks for being so patient,” was all she said and she turned and walked into her room leaving Darren stunned yet once again tonight.
Tuesday, February 2, 2010
Travels in Eire #25
It was time to return to reality, even though Cailin and Darren would have rather stayed in this special spot along Galway Bay forever. After a what seemed like a long time, Darren loosened his hold on Cailin, just enough to tilt her head up and plant a long slow kiss on her lips. She returned his kiss knowing her heart was no longer protected.
“Cailin....,”
“Darren, please don't say anything. I can't bear anything more right now,” Cailin was barely able to get these words out. She felt she knew what Darren might be saying, and just had to stop him.
“Cailin, you know there is no turning back at this point, don't you?” Darren had to make his feelings clear. “It's not going to be easy at all.”
“Darren, please, I need time here. Everything is happening so quickly. I have so much to deal with,” Cailin was pleading with Darren. “Tomorrow we have to go back to Derry so you can go back to work, and I still have some things to take care of here in Ireland. I'm not sure we should have even let this happen. We're adults, we should have made some better decisions here.”
“Cailin, I really believe that things happen for a reason. That fate has a hand in whatever happens to us. You could have totally blown me off when I was passing out fliers for the concert. It was not me who came back to Derry after you were in Donegal. There was something leading the two of us to come together. I have to admit that at first I came along for the fun of it. Not at all thinking that having some fun would turn into something this involved.”
Darren suddenly changed the topic with, “We need to get back to my parents before they start wondering were we are. Can you handle that for now? I'm not trying to be cavalier, but there is nothing we can do to settle this right now. In fact, I'm not sure how we can settle this at the moment.”
Cailin quietly crawled into her seat in the car and Darren started to back out of the parking space. There was a very uncomfortable silence between them. They were only a few miles down the road from Darren's parent's house and arrived there too quickly for Cailin's comfort. As they entered the house, Darren called out that they had returned.
Cailin turned to Darren and softly said, “Darren, I don't know that I can face your parents right now. Please give them my regrets. I think I'll skip dinner.” And she entered her room bursting into tears.
Darren stood outside the room dumbfounded. Had he been wrong about this? Was he rushing it all too fast? He knew in his heart what he felt. Only now he had to face his parents.
Darren's entered the kitchen to wonder dinner smells. “Mum, that smells great!”
“If you were home more often Darren you could have this every day. Where's Cailin?” Maura could see that Darren had something on his mind. But she knew better than ask him.
“Caillin was exhausted from all the touring today and is going to skip dinner tonight.” Darren thought he made a viable excuse for Cailin.
“Nonsense boy, I didn't make this dinner just for you. I'll make her a plate and take it to her. I'm sure she's appreciate it.” While Maura had her reservations about Cailin and Darren, she was still an Irish mother and good host. No guest was going to skip dinner in her house and Darren's attempts to stop his mum were futile.
Maura knocked softly on the door to the room where Cailin was staying. “Darlin' can I come in? I have some dinner for you. Can't have you go hungry now, can we?”
Cailin knew there was no getting rid of Maura. She opened the door to see Maura with a plateful of delicious smelling food. Cailin's stomach began to rumble. Maura took one look at Cailin and knew she had been crying. She pushed her way into the room as Cailin was no challenge for her, put the plate down and put her arms around Cailin. Cailin began to sob all over again. Maura knew this was more than she had bargained for. It wasn't that she didn't like Cailin. She was just very protective of her sons.
“Okay, Cailin, you are going to have to do some sharing here. I'm not being nosy here, but you are so upset.”
“I'm so sorry Maura. I didn't mean to break down like this. I should have been able to hold it together. I do that every day at work.”
“This is not work Cailin, it's your vacation. What happened?” Maura was worried about what Cailin would tell her. She held her breath.
“I just realized that my vacation will be ending in a few days and I'm going to have to leave Ireland. I don't want to leave. I can't explain it.” Cailin was leaving out the most important part of her sadness, but she didn't dare mention her feelings for Darren. She didn't have to. Maura already knew. She had seen it in both Darren's and Cailin's eyes. But this time there was something different. Ireland had a hold on Cailin. And once that happened, it would not let go.
“Cailin, I really understand. For now, just celebrate the joy you have for being here. We're only a plane flight away.” Maura was trying her hardest to cheer up Cailin.
“Funny, that's what Darren said yesterday,” and Cailin let out a little smile thinking about how much Darren was like his mum.
“Cailin....,”
“Darren, please don't say anything. I can't bear anything more right now,” Cailin was barely able to get these words out. She felt she knew what Darren might be saying, and just had to stop him.
“Cailin, you know there is no turning back at this point, don't you?” Darren had to make his feelings clear. “It's not going to be easy at all.”
“Darren, please, I need time here. Everything is happening so quickly. I have so much to deal with,” Cailin was pleading with Darren. “Tomorrow we have to go back to Derry so you can go back to work, and I still have some things to take care of here in Ireland. I'm not sure we should have even let this happen. We're adults, we should have made some better decisions here.”
“Cailin, I really believe that things happen for a reason. That fate has a hand in whatever happens to us. You could have totally blown me off when I was passing out fliers for the concert. It was not me who came back to Derry after you were in Donegal. There was something leading the two of us to come together. I have to admit that at first I came along for the fun of it. Not at all thinking that having some fun would turn into something this involved.”
Darren suddenly changed the topic with, “We need to get back to my parents before they start wondering were we are. Can you handle that for now? I'm not trying to be cavalier, but there is nothing we can do to settle this right now. In fact, I'm not sure how we can settle this at the moment.”
Cailin quietly crawled into her seat in the car and Darren started to back out of the parking space. There was a very uncomfortable silence between them. They were only a few miles down the road from Darren's parent's house and arrived there too quickly for Cailin's comfort. As they entered the house, Darren called out that they had returned.
Cailin turned to Darren and softly said, “Darren, I don't know that I can face your parents right now. Please give them my regrets. I think I'll skip dinner.” And she entered her room bursting into tears.
Darren stood outside the room dumbfounded. Had he been wrong about this? Was he rushing it all too fast? He knew in his heart what he felt. Only now he had to face his parents.
Darren's entered the kitchen to wonder dinner smells. “Mum, that smells great!”
“If you were home more often Darren you could have this every day. Where's Cailin?” Maura could see that Darren had something on his mind. But she knew better than ask him.
“Caillin was exhausted from all the touring today and is going to skip dinner tonight.” Darren thought he made a viable excuse for Cailin.
“Nonsense boy, I didn't make this dinner just for you. I'll make her a plate and take it to her. I'm sure she's appreciate it.” While Maura had her reservations about Cailin and Darren, she was still an Irish mother and good host. No guest was going to skip dinner in her house and Darren's attempts to stop his mum were futile.
Maura knocked softly on the door to the room where Cailin was staying. “Darlin' can I come in? I have some dinner for you. Can't have you go hungry now, can we?”
Cailin knew there was no getting rid of Maura. She opened the door to see Maura with a plateful of delicious smelling food. Cailin's stomach began to rumble. Maura took one look at Cailin and knew she had been crying. She pushed her way into the room as Cailin was no challenge for her, put the plate down and put her arms around Cailin. Cailin began to sob all over again. Maura knew this was more than she had bargained for. It wasn't that she didn't like Cailin. She was just very protective of her sons.
“Okay, Cailin, you are going to have to do some sharing here. I'm not being nosy here, but you are so upset.”
“I'm so sorry Maura. I didn't mean to break down like this. I should have been able to hold it together. I do that every day at work.”
“This is not work Cailin, it's your vacation. What happened?” Maura was worried about what Cailin would tell her. She held her breath.
“I just realized that my vacation will be ending in a few days and I'm going to have to leave Ireland. I don't want to leave. I can't explain it.” Cailin was leaving out the most important part of her sadness, but she didn't dare mention her feelings for Darren. She didn't have to. Maura already knew. She had seen it in both Darren's and Cailin's eyes. But this time there was something different. Ireland had a hold on Cailin. And once that happened, it would not let go.
“Cailin, I really understand. For now, just celebrate the joy you have for being here. We're only a plane flight away.” Maura was trying her hardest to cheer up Cailin.
“Funny, that's what Darren said yesterday,” and Cailin let out a little smile thinking about how much Darren was like his mum.
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